Archive for January, 2011

Today marks 6 months since I left Cameroon. So strange. That life feels so so far away now. I was going though my old tweets and laughed out loud at some of the ones I had produced. They also humble me and remind me of that state of mind – much simpler, less stressed, just happy to have the very simple things in life.

The last market day I visited in Batié

I figured, to commemorate, I’d take you back in Tweets from my last days in village up through the first weeks of reverse culture shock!

Last Week in Village

13 Jul: oh man. last night in village. couldn’t hold it together at the bar saying goodbye to friends. teary mess. #PeaceCorps

13 Jul: How I spent my last day in village: http://bit.ly/dmda2J #PeaceCorps #Cameroon

13 Jul: a dog, or a cat, or some animal just walked into my back door & then left. scared the crap out of me! even on my last day! #PeaceCorps

13 Jul: so it was a puppy that came into my house. he came back AGAIN & this time sat in my laundry room. scared me again. #PeaceCorps

13 Jul: hmm.. this puppy is just hanging out in my backyard now. I sorta like him. too bad I’m leaving. #PeaceCorps

14 Jul: taxi dude is here to pick me up. he’s actually half an hour EARLY. good sign. here goes nothing! bye bye village. #PeaceCorps

Last Week in Cameroon

16 Jul: all done with village! last week in y’de to make sure I didn’t catch any weird diseases. #PeaceCorps

21 Jul: free of strange diseases! two more days au cameroun. very bizarre. #PeaceCorps

23 Jul: flying out of #Cameroon in less than 3 hours! Last week with my #PeaceCorps loves: http://bit.ly/9Oj3a3

23 Jul: oh dear, received intro reading list from the LSE for grad school. rude awakening as I get ready to board the flight for the US! #PeaceCorps

23 Jul: au revoir, cameroun. hello, USA!

First month in the USA

24 Jul: omg I’m in America! waiting for my connecting flight to St. Louis @ Philly Intl. this is blowing my mind! #PeaceCorps #ReverseCultureShock

24 Jul: First of many posts on my reverse culture shock: Out of Africa http://bit.ly/9fxESo #PeaceCorps

24 Jul: Internet is SO fast in the USA! #reversecultureshock

25 Jul: I went to Target earlier and couldn’t pick what kind of potato chips to buy… the choices are overwhelming. #reversecultureshock

25 Jul: incredibly ironic that on my 1st night back, no power at my parents’ house after a big storm. mom said I brought Africa back!

25 Jul: drove for the 1st time in over 2 yrs. it really is like riding a bike. not too scary.

25 Jul: visited Sam’s Club just now. they call the US the land of excess for a reason. crazy. #reversecultureshock

26 Jul: Cameroon is already slipping fast away into a surreal dream, and I’ve only been back for one full day. #PeaceCorps

26 Jul: tackling this day in the real world alone. so strange. #reversecultureshock

26 Jul: forgot that bars check for IDs here. funny.

26 Jul: my parents’ cable TV is ridiculous! SO many channels!

26 Jul: I’ve completely forgotten about paper towel – what a marvelous thing! #reversecultureshock

26 Jul: toast & toasters are AMAZING! sliced bread in a machine that pops up? holy cow. #reversecultureshock

27 Jul: going through all of my possessions. boy, do I have a lot of crap. 2 yrs in the #PeaceCorps makes me realize how little I actually NEED.

27 Jul: have I already mentioned how amazing microwave is?! #reversecultureshock

27 Jul: cameroun me manque déjà… *sigh* #PeaceCorps

27 Jul: How I’m dealing with #ReverseCultureShock post #PeaceCorps : America, the Land of Plenty http://bit.ly/c0gyWj

27 Jul: it’s so nice to be able to click on youtube videos and not having skip them! #reversecultureshock

27 Jul: checking out hulu.com for the first time. whoaaaaa this is amazing!!!! #ReverseCultureShock

27 Jul: um… how do I use this oven? so complicated…

27 Jul: just saw an ad for a tv show that consists of men eating an exorbitant amount of food. why is that necessary?! #reversecultureshock

27 Jul: online shopping is AMAZING. I can take as long as I want to make a choice & not feel panicky! #ReverseCultureShock

27 Jul: whoa. strange that it was pouring rain outside and I heard nothing inside the house. no more tin roof.

28 Jul: great to talk to my #peacecorps friends. looking fwd to many reunions. so glad they were there w/ me & are now going through the same things

28 Jul: common consensus among my #PeaceCorps friends who’ve just returned to the US: Americans as a whole are fat and flabby.

29 Jul: oh boy, this iPod touch is CRAZY! it’s like a mini computer! I’m going to really freak out when the macbook arrives. #ReverseCultureShock

29 Jul: This is crazy! I’m waiting at the dentist office and I can tweet! Blowing my mind !

3 Aug: I think my body is rejecting the large quantity of cheese that I’ve been consuming since coming home.

5 Aug: i’m not gonna lie. it’s pretty nice to be able to order ridiculous drinks at @starbucks again!

6 Aug: Hmmm.. I forgot how to pack for a world where wearing the same outfit 3-5 days in a row is frowned upon… I’m not en afrique anymore.

9 Aug: Being able to drink water from the tap is AMAZING!

14 Aug: Heard a lady on the bus to DC spoke Pidgin earlier! So nostalgic. #peacecorpsf

15 Aug: progress on my #reversecultureshock post #PeaceCorps: au village no more http://bit.ly/aLvxB6

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This morning, I woke up to a link in my Inbox to 20/20′s 3-part report on the Peace Corps. The piece discusses the lack of proper support and response to the murder of Kate Puzey and later a segment of women who were sexually assaulted and/or raped during their service. I was extremely saddened by this report and can definitely understand the anger and frustration these women have toward the Peace Corps. However, while I am glad the report has raised issues of mismanagement within the organization, it also took away so many positive aspects of what it stands for. Most people already only have a vague idea of what the Peace Corps is about, and a report as such aired on national television will only drive people away further.

If you ask anyone from my Peace Corps training group, they will tell you that I was one of the most critical individual toward Peace Corps Admin. in the beginning of my service. I did not always love the Peace Corps and want everyone to sign up. Coming from a business background, I was astounded by various levels of inefficiency. I complained about the language training, the ridiculous rules, the lack of support on projects, the inefficient disbursement of our living allowances, and the list went on and on. I think some of my PC friends are surprised that today I’m one of the biggest advocates.

What changed my attitude? Well, my two years of living in the country. I associated very little of myself with Peace Corps during the first year. I spent a lot of time with French and volunteers of other nationalities. Through them, I realized that Peace Corps actually take care of us really well. My French friends were envious of our health care access, and sometimes made fun of our overly stringent security rules. When I complained about inefficiency, they gave me their stories that were much worse. I realized these complaints are simply the realities of large organizations, especially within a developing country.

Peace Corps is a large organization that currently operates in 77 countries with over 8,500 volunteers serving. You can imagine the level of bureaucracy that takes place; furthermore, it is a government agency, so inefficiency is unfortunately inherent. When we get frustrated, we often don’t know who to blame, so we blame “the Peace Corps”. But when it comes down to it, like any large-scale organization, problems cannot be generalized across the board. It is also important to remember that Peace Corps hires a lot of HCNs (Host Country Nationals) and there are usually a lot of bureaucracy involved in these countries (definitely the case in Cameroon). Firing bad employees is often very difficult and has to be handle extremely delicately (as in Kate’s case).

Within a country, the County Director (CD) has the most authority and is the person that decides on how situations are handled. While in Cameroon, I experienced two different country directors and there were stark changes among staff and the general operations of Peace Corps Cameroon. I experienced a serious security incident with other volunteers and I was thoroughly impressed with the way things were handled. We agreed the situation would’ve been dealt with much differently under the previous Country Director. This all lead me to believe that poor management of unfortunate incidents as discussed in the 20/20 report were due to inadequate leadership within these Peace Corps countries.

While it is important that these management issues are addressed and the pressure is put on the Agency to improve and change its policies, I have an incredibly difficult time dealing with these very negative image that this report portrays on the Peace Corps experience. To an average American who knew little of the Peace Corps before, they now will think, “oh, you are going to go live in a hut in the middle of no where with no resources AND you will probably get raped and killed? That’s insane. No thanks.”

The reality is, Peace Corps takes safety and security extremely seriously. So much so, we often felt like we were being over-protected. Before we even get on the plane, we went through sessions where we were made aware of cases of robbery, rape, and various unfortunate events. Peace Corps gave us the statistics that were definitely downright frightening to a group of people who had little idea on what they were getting themselves into. Throughout our training and the rest of our service, safety and security were top priority and measures were taken in every way possible.

In Cameroon, it was mandatory to always wear a helmet when taking a moto bike, to always report your whereabouts, to avoid being out alone at night, to not travel to designated dangerous areas of the country, etc. For a group of mostly 20-somethings, we found the rules absurd. We hated being told what to do. Once we became integrated into our communities, we got comfortable and trusted people in our community and thus let our guards down. Through two years of living there, I realize one big part about the experience is finding the right balance between too much trust vs. not being open enough while living among a culture of people so incredibly different from me.

One joins the Peace Corps knowing that anything can happen – there is no guarantee. I am deeply sorry for those volunteers who have experienced much worse incidents and have not received proper support. There are no excuses for the lack of support and poor handling of situations by the Peace Corps. The Agency should have used this opportunity to do some damage control and apologize. Despite all of my frustration with the organization during my service, I am proud to have been a Peace Corps Volunteer and would do it over again. I can’t stress enough that these extreme experiences and grossly inadequate support only happen to a small percentage of volunteers. There are so many extremely positive factors that go into the Peace Corps experience and this report in no way accurately represents what most of us experience. I think it’s important for the general public to realize this.

To end, I present you with the current Peace Corps Director Aaron Williams’ response to the report.

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Okay, I know it’s almost the middle of January, but I still haven’t done my Year-in-Review post and I feel like I need to, for no other reason than to remember what all happened in glorious 2010. I wrote one for 2009 and am glad I’ve documented it. Some of the major events included the end of my Peace Corps service, returning to the US again after 2 years and beginning graduate school in London. It’s easy to forget all that you have done until you take the time to reflect. 2010 was another successful and fulfilling year. Here’s hoping for 2011!

January: I got my hair braided and became une vraie africaine. That same day, I received my acceptance to the LSE. Few weeks later, I made a decision. At the time, I had planned to pursue my second year of the dual degree at Sciences Po, but now I am now crossing my fingers that Columbia SIPA will accept me, again. I am ready to be on the U.S. soil for a while! Another post about this, at another time.

February: I spent the better part of the month trying to get a container of 23,000 books to arrive, and dealing with the logistics of distributing them to 30 libraries. This was the month where I really got a good taste of the Cameroonian bureaucracy. Yet while jumping through all the hoops, I realized I have had a change of perception than when I first arrived in Cameroon.I also finished the third round of business classes!

March: I celebrated International Women’s Day with my village mamas. And miraculously, those 577 boxes of books successfully arrived and we had a lovely ceremony to distribute them. The Books For Cameroon team worked so hard and I was so proud of us. Just in time to celebrate, we headed to our Close-of-Service Conference with the rest of our training group. Peace Corps put us up in a nice hotel and fed us delicious food.

April: I received all of my grad school decisions. Even though I got into all but Yale, my decisions remained with the LSE because it was the most economically sensible option. After COS conference, I took one last trip to Kribi with my PC loves. I realized just how lucky I have found this group of people.

May: More travel ensued in this month as I traveled to the capital a few more times to take care of business. Even at the end of my service, I was still driven crazy by Cameroonian modes of transportation. My flight home was confirmed and the reality of the end of my time in Cameroon began to loom over me.

June: The World Cup was going on and Cameroon was one of the few African teams. I spent a lot of time during this month watching the games at Cameroonian bars and enjoying the pure bliss of Cameroonian life. When I wasn’t watching the games, I was tying the loose ends and prepping for my imminent departure. So sad.

July: I spent time showing my replacement, Cristina, around, and cherishing every last moment in my village. Leaving that place was the hardest thing I have yet endured. Incredible feeling. Spent the last week with my wonderful Peace Corps loves before we all parted ways heading stateside. I experienced some very funny reversed culture shocks.

August: First time back in the U.S. in two years. I went on a lovely vacation with my family and caught up with friends in the East Coast. Meanwhile, getting over the fact I was au village no more and tried the best I could to mentally prepare for grad school.

September: ready or not, I boarded that plane and headed to London. Grad school is no joke, but I was enjoying being back in London after so many years and taking it all in for what it’s worth. September consisted of only pre-sessional courses and those were enough to make me feel overwhelmed.

October: real classes were in full swing and I was trying to find a good rhythm for my life in London. I’ve met a good group of friends and attempted my best to make everyday as fulfilling as possible. Every now and again, it surprises me that I was in fact, in London. My life in Cameron was fading quickly, and it was all too surreal.

November: Juliette visited me and brought back memories of our time in Batié. I was glad to have a piece of Cameroon back in my life. Spent yet another Thanksgiving abroad. This one was harder than usual, however.

December: Michaelmas term somehow ended and I was relieved. Siobhan visited me on her way home from Cameroon! I then spent a week in Tunisia before heading home for the holidays – at last! Being home this time made me realized how much I miss the U.S., or rather, how much I miss being closer to friends and family. Ringing in the New Year with Peace Corps loves only further confirmed that feeling. I ended the year knowing a little more about myself, and began the new year with much to look forward to!

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The long awaited Peace Corps Cameroon Reunion finally took place this past weekend in Chicago. I rang in the New Year with some of my favorite people in this world! Less than five months since we have all left Cameroon and we already needed a reunion. More than 20 of us joined in on the festivity, coming from around the US by train, air or bus.

The Peace Corps is organized by training groups. In Cameroon, there are two groups a year that enter the country to begin their training before being sworn-in as official volunteers. In Cameroon, business and education (SED/ED) trainees enter in June and agroforestry and health (Agro/Health) enter in September. Each group has its distinct personality and the 2008-2010 SED/ED stage (training group in French) was known as a wild bunch from day one. We are a group that liked to have a good time, but still managed to produce some impressive work. Work hard, but party harder is definitely our motto.

We spent the first three months in Cameroon living in a village and spent more or less every waking moment with one another. For most of us, those three months were the most intense period we have, or will ever have experienced in our lives. We were in a culture so utterly different, learning a different language, miles away from anything that remotely represented a comfort zone. We became each other’s comfort zone. The bond created during that three months carried us through the rest of our service, and will likely carry us, or at least me, through most of my life.

For the next two years after our training, we were dispersed throughout different parts of Cameroon. Cameroon isn’t a big country, but the public transportation is so under developed that it could take days to travel from one region to another. As a result, I was only able to see some of my closest friends less than a dozen times throughout the two years. Some others who were near me, I may see them every week. We had the telephone to keep in touch, but at 30 cents a minute, we defaulted to text messages. Sometimes during the 8th hour of being squeezed on a bus, a text message vent can really calm the anger.

Before we even left the country, plans were already in the works for this reunion. It made the separation slightly easier to handle. We left each other often and have said many rounds of goodbye throughout the two years. So the final goodbye in Yaoundé didn’t actually feel all that strange. Yet at the same time, we were closing that chapter of our lives.

Personally, having this reunion to look forward to kept my sanity. The transition back to the real life has been hectic and strange. No matter how much people attempt to understand and be interested in my stories, it pale in comparison to Peace Corps friends. Don’t get me wrong, I have amazingly supportive friends outside of Peace Corps, but for some things, it’s not the same. Most people have studied abroad and made wonderful friends from the experience. The Peace Corps is a 4-month semester long study abroad times six and some change.

When we reunited, I felt an immediate sense of relief. These are the people who understand me; they are family. We could be doing something as simple as watching TV and someone can make an inside joke that has everyone rolling in laughter. We don’t need to censor what we say, because nothing is inappropriate. When we talk about what it’s been like being back, someone doesn’t need to finish his or her sentence before everyone else nods in agreement. I wasn’t alone in these sentiments. Everyone expressed that this weekend was the happiest they have been since leaving Cameroon.

I have never felt such love among a group of people until I met my stage. I didn’t even know it is possible to miss a group of people so intensely – yet another wonderful element that the Peace Corps has brought into my life.

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