Posts Tagged ‘procrastination’

So, first day without Facebook in 5+ years. It is… weird. Exacerbated by the fact that I stayed in my shoebox size room all day researching for a paper. As any college student know, Facebook is the perfect procrastination tool. You go on there to see what your friends are up to for a few minutes, and suddenly you don’t feel so alone. The last time I had no access to Facebook for an extended period of time was the first few months in Cameroon. But even then, I had crappy cellphone Internet connection that would allow me to have a few minutes of peek a day. Ironic that even in Peace Corps Africa, a time of my life when I thought I’d be most isolated, I was connected.

When I want to procrastinate, I sign onto gchat to see who is around, poke my head into Twitter. But my gchat list is limited and most people on Twitter I don’t personally know, making the stalking less interesting. Not to mention, the content that I could actually browse now require me to use my brain – articles and blog posts – not funny comments, photos, etc. A few times throughout the day, I actually caught myself opening a new tab in my browser and key in f, for facebook. I think this is what they call “muscle memory”. Strange.

On the upside, I was pretty productive today. And although I do feel considerably more alone, there is relatively low chance my emotions would be affected by anything I read today. That’s sort of nice. Sometimes, Facebook can make me feel like I’m standing alone on an island, waving my hands hoping someone would notice me. Let’s be honest, that “like” button serves this purpose.

And just as I’m about to say Facebook is designed simply to fuel our narcissistic souls, I get an email from Peace Corps St. Louis asking me to join their Facebook page. Suppose I’ll have to wait a few more weeks.

Until tomorrow…

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Naturally, the day I need to prepare for my first exam in over 2 years was a gorgeous sunny day in London. Luckily, this exam doesn’t actually count for anything, more just an assessment and provide feedback. Yet for some reason, everyone in the program is taking it mighty seriously. I suppose I’ve advanced from the Little League to the Big People’s World. Just as well, I need a fake exam to get me back into the habit of studying/cramming and realize how the old habit of procrastination didn’t die and I need to find a way to fight it!

Amidst of my notes and trying to relearn basic statistics that I’ve learned years ago (how infuriating to remember nothing of what I once spent so much time to cram into my little brain), I received an email from Cristina, my Peace Corps replacement who sent over the 2nd phase of my Books For Cameroon project to look over and edit, and a picture of Billy, my neighbor boy whom I called last week via Skype.

Billy talking to me on the Phone

What a joy to see his picture and see him so happy to hear my voice. I’m so blessed to have an amazing replacement who is constantly updating me with the progress of my project and her life there in our village. The need to carve one’s own experience in the Peace Corps is vital, and no one wants to live under the shadow of your predecessor. And for that, I’m so grateful and appreciate being kept informed. I miss that little world. London is obviously amazing, but I must admit the flurry of activities happening day and night are all a bit overwhelming. Petit à petit, I will be the modern cosmopolitan woman that I once were.

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